Fragile Xtiquette

I have two pictures of my brother on my cabinet at work. A few times people have stopped and asked me about the pictures and I will attempt to provide a short explanation of Fragile X and how it has affected my brother. Two of the more recent occurrences could not have been more different. They are a lesson in "what to say" and "what not to say."

First encounter:
Coworker: "Oh who is that in the picture?"
Me: "Oh that's my brother...blah blah blah...fragile x...blah blah blah"
Coworker: "I can tell you love him. That's so great. I'm glad he's doing so well."
The end.

This is what I would call a good conversation.

The second encounter:

Coworker: "Oh who is that in the picture?"
Me: "Oh that's my brother...blah blah blah...fragile x...blah blah blah"
Coworker: "They just want to be normal don't they."
Me: ......
Coworker: "Does your brother go to a program like Proact?"
Me: "What's Proact?"
Coworker: "Oh it's a place where people who can't do normal jobs and go and work doing small tasks."
Me: ".........................no, he has worked in several areas including a greenhouse, hotel and grocery store. In fact his older cousin has a steady job at a hospital and lives in an apartment with a roommate."
Coworker: "Oh, how great."
End.

This conversation makes me want to bang my head against the wall.  I know it comes from a place of ignorance and I try to remember that, however the "oh they just want to be normal" comment makes me fume.

Oh yes, they do. Don't we all just want to be normal. How quaint. Excuse me while I throw up.

If people are really curious why don't they say this:
"Oh I don't know much about that! Could you send me some information/explain that further" so I don't drive you insane?

The one area I can do nothing about is the child conversation. I wish I could just wear a sign:
 "IF YOU ASK ME ABOUT CHILDREN I MIGHT PUNCH YOU!"

I have made a choice to most likely not have biological children. It is my choice. I don't want to explain to you why I want to adopt, you should just respect it and move on. I know children are the light of the world and changed your life but I am going to have a different experience. Good for you, now leave me alone.

The only thing that is helping with this is reading adoption blogs. They are so helpful and also are great for venting purposes because adoptive parents often go through the same ridiculous questions as people who have children with disabilities. Basically, "oh that's different, how did that happen?"

It happened because nature always wins that's how it happened.

I'm sorry for the anger today. I just needed to get this out there. I hope it sparks conversation.

Until next time: Keep calm, and carry on.